Thursday, 16 December 2010

What The Fuck For The Week - 16/12/10

Let's roll.

German Man Castrates Daughter's Boyfriend

First off, the story of a man cutting off a guy's balls for going out with his daughter. In the father's defence, the man in question was 57 and going out with his 17 year old daughter, but I still reckon it might be a something of an overreaction.

I'd probably be pretty damn fucking pissed off, were I in that guy's shoes, but I'm not sure taking a knife to another man's genitals would be my preferred course of action. I find it a bit weird that this guy is being charged with attempted murder too. If I was trying to kill a guy, I would be aiming a bit higher than his scrotum. Hell, I didn't even know it was fucking possibly to die from being chopped up down there. I could imagine it being painful as fuck and almost certainly one of the worst experiences it's possible to have, but it's not something I would expect to be potentially lethal.

I think the lesson to learn from all this is that you probably shouldn't date 17 year olds when you're older than their father. Especially if their father is a crazy Russian psycho.

Man Writes "FUCK OFF" On The Side Of Harrods

I have to say, if you ever get fired from your job and feel pissed off with your former employee, I don't think there's a better way to get revenge than doing this:

The story, courtesy of Gemma Raven, is that a man fired from his job as the store Father Christmas barricaded himself into the lights control room and wrote the message. Apparently he was massively drunk at the time, and as drunken ideas go, I think this is definitely one of the best ones. I'm impressed that he managed to figure out how even to do it, because there's thousands of lights on the outside of that store.

My personal favourite part of the article is the quote they have at the bottom:

“Honestly, I am disgusted, ” said Irene Rider, 59, from Gary, Indiana. “I was with my grandchildren. We had just gotten off the bus. I said ‘look everybody’ and pointed up to the lights – but you know what the lights said? They said f**k off. And that is not an appropriate message for a child. At least not at Christmas time.”

Firstly for the way she phrases the whole incident, but above all for the way she quantifies what she says and implies that "fuck off" is a perfectly appropriate message for children, so long as it isn't Christmas.


This one is courtesy of muf, courtesy of Needle. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Toylets.

Now the website confused the shit out of me, aside from the bemusing things I could figure out from the pictures. Thankfully, Kotaku has a decent grasp on things.

Apparently it's game hardware designed to solve the common problem of young boys and slightly-drunk men and struggling with their aim while urinating. Except this being Japan, they can do better than just the standard act of putting a sticker or something on the inside of the toilet to give people something to aim for. Instead they've gone with the interactive video game approach.

What really got me is that this isn't just some crazy Japanese indie game company who is producing this stuff - it's Sega. It's the company that produced Sonic the Hedgehog, and the Mega Drive. It's the company that dominated my childhood for several years, and they're making interactive pee games. And what I really fucking loved about it is at the bottom of this page, where as far as I can tell this thing gives you the option to use a save file if you have a USB memory stick.

As ridiculous and unnecessarily high-tech this idea seems, to be honest I actually really want a go, just for shits and giggles. It looks fucking awesome.

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