Monday, 29 November 2010

Holy Shit What Is This Cold

What with me being from the North 'n stuff, there seems to be a general consensus that I should be used to the cold, because the North is a cold, dreary place and we've all evolved over time to eat plenty of fried stuff so that we've got blubber to get us through the harsh winter nights.

To a mild extent this could be true. I would postulate, however, that the North West, where I live, is actually not that cold. Not compared to Cambridge at least. Sure, we can average out at over 290 days of precipitation a year (ie. it's fucking wet) but generally that means that there's lots of clouds which stops it getting stupidly cold. We also don't have this ridiculous arctic wind that swirls around Cambridge freezing your condensing breath to your own face.


When I'm outside I do generally seem to have more tolerance to the cold than others, and I can apparently get by with fewer layers, but I put this down more to my ability to harden the fuck up than anything else. But I am a scrawny, skinny little shit, despite my diet of chocolate and fried stuff (occasionally combining the two because deep-fried Mars bars are EPIC), and I do sort of have limits.

The Cam freezing over is one of those limits. It's been a bit chilly the last couple of weeks, but things properly cranked up a few days ago. It was fucking cold this weekend, as I found out spending five hours sat in a boat on the Cam on Saturday, and it's still fucking cold. I woke up this morning to open my curtains and find snow everywhere. Standing somewhat against popular opinion, I really don't like snow. There are acceptable places for snow, like on mountains and in small plastic globes, but pavements and roads that I have to walk and cycle on aren't fucking one of them. Snow is even number 33 on my list of things that piss me the fuck off.

I appreciate that other people might have it colder. I appreciate that actually this weekend Cambridge is far south enough to have mild temperatures compared to Wales and Yorkshire (people in Canada who can boast below -30°C on a regular basis don't count - you guys should just sodding live somewhere else). However, you guys aren't students in Cambridge and therefore you're not expected to just function as normal despite there being snow and ice everywhere. The joy of snow is massively reduced when school isn't cancelled, and you're still expected to attend lectures and cycle 2.5 miles to get to your supervisions.

Really I'm just hoping that we're using up snow quota for the year. It's only November for christ's sake, it shouldn't be this bad. If it means we get a milder February (because yes, weather totally works like that) then cool, but if this is just the sign of things to come then FML I'm getting some studded bike tyres.


In non-bitch-snow-related stuff, the Tetris Open Championship thing draw is up, and I've been seeded 29th. The way things are looking I've got a decent shot of getting into the final 32 (assuming I can beat HD_larry, which might be tough), but I doubt I'm going to be able to get into the top 16, because it'd require me beating 4th seed, Hebo_Mai, and she (?) is pretty fucking epicly fast. I would get slaughtered playing against her even when I was playing regularly, let alone coming back from a 12-month hiatus. First match is Sunday 5pm PST, which works out around 1am on Monday morning here. Given lectures will have finished and I'll hopefully have no reason to be up early on Sunday or Monday, I should still be awake and not too tired by the time the match rolls around.

Monday, 22 November 2010

Tetris... We Meet Again

As a fair few people probably know, I'm pretty shit-hot at Tetris. And not in your standard "oh I can set the rocket off on the GameBoy" pretender Tetris prodigy style. I mean some proper fucking skill. Those douchebags who claim Tetris excellence can't maintain speeds of three pieces per second (linked video doesn't show that, but meh, I can do it I swear).


That was all well and good for fucking up my childhood when I could have been out getting good at sports and talking to girls, but I got bored of it. [As an aside, to set the record straight, I didn't actually pour that many hours a week into it, maybe three or four at most - I just played it regularly for several years and had some natural talent.]
Anyway, I got bored with TGM. Or at least, it wasn't as magical as it used to be, and breaking records just seemed like a horrific slog for very little reward, and the fact it was taking me months to break records and demonstrate real improvement just ceased to pique my interest any more. So, about 8 months ago, I announced my retirement from the world of hardcore Tetris. I've still kept playing TGM off an on, but I no longer really care for my own records and beating them. I'd like to get Death Gm (and I came SO FUCKING CLOSE to it yesterday D:) and all that shit, but I can't really see it happening any time soon without aeons of pain and frustration, and so I've stopped giving a shit.

That was until the sponsored Hard Drop tournament caught my attention. It's still got a week to run on the entry, and it's already past 200 entrants, with some pretty big names in there. What I've really come to realise is that I wasn't bored with Tetris, I was bored with TGM. The thing was, at the time there wasn't really a stable multiplayer scene that really offered a decent alternative. I was running a league that had marginal success, and there were a handful of players on Blockbox, but there wasn't a really strong, coherent multiplayer scene to offer a proper option outside of the arcade scene.

I think the main issue was there was a lack of a decent official Tetris game for the PC. The fanmade ones aren't mainstream, and they probably never will be, and as a result they won't really get the same buzz as the other games do. I don't really want to be one of the best at something that only a handful of people really play, because I don't really see the worth in devoting my time to that. Back 6-12 months ago, Tetris Friends was a pile of shit. It's still for the most part a pile of shit, but it's dragged itself up enough to at least offer proper potential for competitive play. It's laggy, combos are stupidly overpowered (apparently that's being fixed soon), and it uses SRS which I'm so not used to with a keyboard, but it'll do.

So what is this post? This is me announcing that I am no longer retired, and I am going to return for this tournament and kick some fucking ass. Well, probably not too much ass, because I'm still rusty as fuck on account of having not really seriously played multiplayer Tetris in over a year. But still, from the games I've played in the last few days I reckon I can put in a decent show and maybe get top 32 or top 16 if I'm lucky. I'm going to get myself back into the top tier of players, and I'm going to reclaim my title of fastest UK player from no-name douchebags like Paul676 (just kidding dude, nothing personal ;P). Actually, I probably won't bother with the fastest player title because 40 lines is frustrating, painful on the wrists, and ultimately it is boring as fuck. So keep your shitty 40 lines title :|

And aside from that? I don't really know. I'll probably still keep playing TGM, but I'm pretty sure that I'm defecting and placing my main focus on multiplayer. TGM4 isn't going to get released; the series is pretty much dead, and I'm not really motivated to put any more time into it. The VS scene on the other hand could really grow over the next couple of years, and it feels far more worthwhile. Plus multiplayer matches are ultimately fun for me, and TGM has sort of lost everything other than that offline time-killing aspect.

I might switch back from time to time. Mostly because I get shit to inspire me, like the latest KAN video (which is actually like two years old, and just unseen footage until now)



That video is some amazing shit. Not really in a way that a non-Tetris player can appreciate fully, but really, I watched that and was amazed. Not only is he fucking quick, but his placement style is so impressive and efficient. And then of course there's KAN's typical ability to be able to see the pieces in the credit roll despite them being completely invisible. I can safely say that I will never be that good at TAP, no matter how much I play.

I'm also reconsidering starting the league again now that there'd be some proper strength and competitiveness to it. I might also set up a clan ladder system, given that there are definitely starting to be enough players for clans, and they're forming on HD, but as of yet there doesn't seem to be any proper competition structure in place for them.

That'd mean TC would need a clan, because sod representing anything else (except TEC, obviously, but they don't really have the players other than KS and maybe Blah). As much as I might be jaded with TGM right now, TC is and shall always be the best community, and we should show it by diversifying a little bit and having some epic players for VS as well as just TGM.

Kevin, Amnesia, all the other people who feel they've achieved all they can in the soon-to-be-dead series that is TGM. Come join me on the dark side, and together we can rule the Tetris universe (though not as father and son - that'd just be fucking weird)

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Formula One 2010 - An Overview

The season was billed to be one that could be the most exciting yet. Back in March I predicted a potential six-way fight for the drivers title, and if it wasn't for a fairly poor season from Felipe Massa, I'd have been spot on right.

I don't think it was the changes to the points system, the removal of fuelling from pit-stops, or the update to the restriction on aerodynamics which made the season exciting. It was the fact that throughout the course of the season the title for the drivers championship was extremely close, and with all of the main contenders leading it at one point or another, culminating with Vettel taking the shock victory in the final race, when all eyes were on Alonso and Webber.

  

The season started with Ferrari looking quickest in the first race, only for that to change quickly and for McLaren and then Red Bull to assert dominance. Red Bull's explosion in Turkey as Webber and Vettel crashed into each other looked to hand things over to the McLarens to start walking away with it, until a resurgence in pace from Red Bull and Ferrari brought them back in front of McLaren for performance and it was anybody's game again. Successive retirements from Hamilton brought Webber and Alonso back into the front, it took the last race of the season for the places to switch once more and for Vettel to come out on top.

Really, there are so many incidents this season to talk about 'if's. The contact between Webber and Hamilton in Melboune, and then again in Singapore. Various retirements throughout the course of the season, Massa's concession to give Alonso victory in Germany (eight points which could have been oh so crucial to the championship if things had turned out differently). Really I think it's hard to argue that things perhaps should have gone a different way because pretty much all the drivers have lost points through incidents and mechanical failures that they could have otherwise gotten. Had Mark Webber had better luck with crashes which weren't really his fault, he could have won it. Had Hamilton maybe been a bit more cautious going into corners side-by-side with other cars, and it could have been his. If Alonso had chosen a different pit-stop strategy in the final race, he could have taken it as well.

Personally I think Vettel probably deserves his title, regardless of who I'd actually have preferred to win it. There are plenty of reasons to why other drivers might deserve it more, but I think the final line is that out of the nineteen races this season, Vettel started on pole for ten of them. Sure, there's more to being a racing driver than merely setting the best qualifying time, but I think that statistic makes it hard to argue that Red Bull and Vettel didn't have the fastest package this season. If he'd converted those pole positions into race victories more effectively (and the fact he didn't was mostly down to a mixture of reliability, bad luck, and probably a bit of inexperience as a driver) then the championship could have been over with three or four races still to go. It's amazing that he hadn't led the championship before the final race really.

There's also something to say for Red Bull Racing taking both F1 titles this season. When they're fighting against esteemed, vintage teams like Ferrari and McLaren, it's incredible. Their debut season was only in 2005, and really it should give hope to the fledgling teams this season that in a few years (and with a lot of money, to be fair) you can not only be fighting with the top teams, but completely dominating races and winning trophies by the bucketload. I think few would argue against the suggestion that Red Bull consistently had the fastest package this season, at times by a pretty huge margin. It'll be interesting to see if teams like Force India can't raise themselves to that sort of level by a few years time.

So, a bit annoyed that I missed the last race due to rowing commitments, but it's still been an absolutely fantastic season, and certainly the closest-run title race in recent times. Bring on 2011, because I can't see any decent reason why it won't be just as close between just as many drivers next season.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Christmas Lists

So we're within six weeks of Christmas now, which means I'm getting continuous pestering from parents and various relatives about what sort of stuff I want for Christmas. Usually the offer of people giving me free stuff would be awesome, but I can't actually think of anything I particularly want this year. I'd quite like a fairly big second monitor to use with my laptop, but other than that I'm pretty much out of ideas. I'd also like a PS3 but those things are expensive, and I doubt I'd be able to get both a PS3 and a monitor.

click for full-size, as usual
The main problem with all of this is that I pretty much already have anything that I immediately want. I'm not saying this in a "har har I'm so spoilt/rich" sort of way. It's just that I generally don't really want that much stuff, and when I do I just buy it myself. I'm no longer a kid with very little pocket money who basically needs to wait for Christmas and Birthdays to get things. I've had jobs, with those jobs I got money and bought the fairly small number of things that I actually want in my life, and now I've run out of stuff. That, and I've got twenty years of Christmases and birthdays under my belt, and I've accrued a fair amount of stuff through those as well.

Mostly I blame Amazon. For example, I'd quite like a Thermos mug so I can bring tea/coffee to lectures and not have to get up early and drink it in my room. It'd make quite a nice Christmas present from someone, except I don't want to wait until next term to have it. I'd quite like it now, and given I can get one on Amazon for a fiver and it'll be in my possession by Wednesday, it feels dumb waiting for it.

Basically, fuck the concept that I'm having to write a Christmas list when we're not even halfway through November. It'd be easier to think of things I wanted if it didn't come with the condition that I also need to wait six weeks for it. I basically need to ask for things that I want, but that I don't want enough to require it now.

Money would be useful, as always. I have finite amounts of it, and if I want to go to Japan next September then I'll probably need quite a bit of it. Thing is, it always seems like such a dumb thing to ask for. It sort of undermines the whole spirit of giving gifts if you're just handing out cash and cheques. The other issue is that asking for money means I frequently get given vouchers, and I'm really not a fan of vouchers.

Really, I open this up to you guys reading this to recommend me stuff I might want. Despite the nature of this post, I assure you that I don't have that much stuff and there's probably plenty that I would actually want if someone suggested it, but I've not been able to think of while brainstorming for Christmas list ideas. Books would probably be a decent thing to go for, because I don't really read novels unless someone actively pushes me into them, and there's very little on my bookshelf that isn't either a textbook, manga, or books from when I was a kid.

So yeah, aside from "clearly you're a spoiled fuckface with everything in the world and you should ask for donations to charity", suggestions below please.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Procrastination Is A Bitch

First project of the year is over, and I think it's the first time ever that I've had something like that and worked so close to the deadline. We had like three weeks to do it, and I handed mine in at 1am on Thursday, with the deadline being 9am Thursday. It was actually originally 9am Wednesday before it got shifted back a day, which I was pretty damn fucking happy about, given it actually gave me enough time to get stuff finished.


It was a pretty stressful and crappy handful of days, and once I'd handed in the project, my first thought was "never again". For the next one I'd get shit done ahead of time. I wouldn't leave it to the last minute, I wouldn't have to rush, I'd get it done ahead of time and everything would be dandy. Thing is, this is clearly bullshit. It's the exact same deal as hangovers.

You drink too much, you get stupidly smashed, say really retarded things to people, do some very idiotic stuff, throw up a lot and then you wake up the next day and, as you suppress your stomach's attempts to drag all of your organs outside your body, you make the resolution that it will never happen again. No more shall copious amounts of alcohol pass your lips and leave you in such a ridiculous state.

And then a week later someone asks you if you want to go to the pub, and you say yes, and you end up wankered.

While you're in the throes of agony it's quite easy to make the promise, but it's pretty damn easy to be lured by prospects of fun and forget all about it. Procrastination on huge projects is the same. For every project I do I will find ways to pointlessly fritter away time, and I will almost certainly never learn my lesson because that's just how shit goes.

The basic problem I have links into the procrastination cycle:
Full post
The fact is, I never had just project to do. I always had the project and a ton of other shit that needed to be done sooner and so always took priority. And then once I'd done that I felt like I'd cleared enough of my to-do list to not bother doing anything else (such as make a start on the project).

I actually gave myself a week to do it, which should have been an adequate amount of time. And it would have been, easily, if I'd had the whole week. What I didn't really bank on, but should have done, was the fact I'd spend a whole day in Ely with my parents, a whole day recovering from Uni Fours dinner with a massive hangover, and a whole day in Derby at a Rolls-Royce factory. With my seven days reduced down to four, it suddenly became much more of a pain in the ass to try and make the deadline easily.


Speaking of Uni Fours, it turns out that winning the Women's Second Division does warrant medals, and they are fucking nice medals


Apologies to anyone who has already heard plenty about the fucking nice medals we got, but it's by far the most impressive thing I've ever won for something related to sport, so I'm pretty chuffed to bits with it. Probably not as nice as the medals for the rowing World Champs, which I've not been following on account of aforementioned project and also the fact that it's in New Zealand so the races are on at daft times in the middle of the night, but still I think one of the better things to win at college-level rowing, especially given that blades are fucking expensive.

I've actually got a fair bit of work to do this weekend, given that I've been putting off supervision work all week to get the project finished, but it feels like an amount that should be fairly easily manageable. Plus coxing is winding down a little now I'm basically subbing in to WI when Will is busy, so I have the opportunity to actually sleep for sensible lengths of time. Or at least, I do for about a week or so and then there'll be the first deliverables deadline for the major project of the year (which won't end until June), and I'll be back to trying to hold myself together. Still, we're in week 6 now, so there's only three more weeks and then it'll be the Christmas vacation and I can maybe wind it down to a few hours of work a day...

Friday, 5 November 2010

University Fours - VICTORY

So as preluded by my previous blog post, yesterday was our day of racing for University Fours. And spoilers for the rest of the post, but we won. That said, we quite easily might not have done.

The conditions were insane. It was massively windy, and the waves on the river down the reach were literally (and I mean literally) a foot high or more in amplitude. If they'd been much higher, they'd have been coming over the side and into the boat. For somewhere like the tideway it would be fairly mild, but for the Cam it felt like this:


Our first race was against Clare W2, and was the first race of the day. We were on the towpath side, with the wind blowing down the reach (a headwind as we were racing) and across towards the towpath, so I made sure I was pretty central in the river as we came around Ditton corner. This meant as we faffed around lining up at the start getting blown all over the fucking place, we'd drift roughly into the right place. What I didn't really account for was us being told to move up to the start when they weren't actually ready for us, meaning we spent five or ten minutes just sitting there at the mercy of the current and the wind.

It's pretty fucking difficult to keep a boat stationary relative to the bank in a flowing river, but it's even more difficult when you've got gusts of winds pushing you around all over the place. By the time we started we'd been blown right near the bank on the towpath, and weren't completely straight. As if that wasn't bad enough the first stroke, both bowsiders totally missed the water, meaning by the time we shaped up for the second draw stroke, we were pretty much at 45° to where we wanted to be pointing. By the third stroke we'd piled ourselves straight into the bank.

Thankfully we didn't hit the bank head-on that much. I'd called strokeside to go light, and I had the rudder on (as useless as it is for that sort of speed), and we actually ended up pulling in parallel to the bank. It was some pretty slick albeit massively unintentional and undesired parking - it's rare I ever pull up to the hard at the boathouse that well.

As Ian (our boatmaster for non-DCBC people) laid into the umpire for being so shoddy with the start, my crew just sort of sat there dumbfounded. There was just a state of shock of "There's bank next to us, why is there bank next to us?" and dumbfoundedness as bowside tried to come to terms with the fact there was no water for them to put their blades into.

It probably helped from my point of view that I was facing forward and could see how far Clare had gone. Or, more accurately, just how far they hadn't gone. As we were heading straight into the bank I was swearing profusely inside my head, and was pretty sure we were going to have lost before we'd even really started. But once we'd crashed and I actually looked out at Clare, I could see they'd hardly moved away. They were maybe two or three lengths away from us. I rallied us, we pushed off, quickly set ourselves and did a racing start, and we were away.

From there we just reeled them in. By the time we got to the railway bridge we were already in front, and from there we pushed off them and just kept going. In hindsight, we probably didn't lose more than maybe ten or fifteen seconds during the crash, despite the fact that at the time everything seemed to happen in slow-motion and it felt like we took forever to crash, push off, and get moving again. Our time for that race was 30 seconds slower than the second and third race, but we had such a decent margin near the end that I called the rate down to save energy for later, so not all of that 30 seconds is the crash itself.

I'm not really sure if the win is comparable in epicness to last year's first round of Uni Fours, when my rudder fell off with M2 during the first hundred metres and we had to go through the course without it, steering with my arm in the water, and still won. Either way it was still a pretty epic first race.

The second race we were against LMBC W2, who were pretty damn quick. If we'd crashed at the start there, there was no way we'd have really caught up. In the first ten strokes or so they moved up about 1/4 of a length, and at that point I was a little worried that they'd just stretch away from us and we'd lose. With the wind, we rhythmed early, and once we'd done that and lengthened the stroke out we started pulling ourselves back level, and took the lead. We got clear, but they definitely kept us honest over the length of the course, and we never got far enough ahead for me to be comfortable taking the rate down. If they'd been on the other side of the draw I reckon they'd have made the final, because they were pretty rapid.

The final was against Trinity Hall W2, and by then the wind had died down a little and the water was much calmer. We started off pretty close together, and there might have been a few blade clashes in the first couple of strokes, but we moved up and our final race was really strong. Again, Tit Hall were fast enough to keep us worried (or to keep me worried at least), and though we pulled out a reasonably clear lead, I was still really nervous through the last few hundred metres or so that if something went wrong we wouldn't have enough of a margin to cover it. The last quarter of the race just seemed to take fucking ages. All we needed to do was cross the line without incident and we'd have it, but it seemed to take so damn long for us to get there.

It was absolutely fantastic to win, and hopefully we'll get medals for it (I know the first division do, but I'm not sure about the second divisions). Many thanks to Kat for bank partying us, and absolutely huge thanks to Guy Williams, Ben, Deepti, MEM, Viv, Claire and anyone else who coached us this term, because we really wouldn't have improved so much without your help and advice. I'd also like to thank Sam Thorne for the constant nagging and comments during the WI outings I coxed, because I really think I improved this term because of it. And obviously personal thanks to Zara, Niki, Christabel and Luiza for actually pulling us over the finish line :P

Looking back, I was really pleased with how I coxed yesterday too. Last year I took a fair bit from Uni Fours because I coped with the whole rudder-losing incident, but I was probably pretty shoddy aside from that (to be fair, it was only my second term coxing). I was also a bit hapless earlier this term for Autumn Head, though again we won that. Yesterday though I felt like I really handled things well, kept calm, and did a decent job. There's almost certainly still plenty I can learn and improve on, but without going on too much of an ego trip I was pretty pleased with my coxing yesterday.

I probably won't actually have that much to do for the rest of the term, given we'll be going back into eights again, and neither the men's nor women's senior squad seem to have enough depth to put out a second VIII for Fairbairn's. I could cox novices, but really I don't think it would be worth my time. I don't from an arrogant 'too-good-for-novices' perspective, but I don't think I'll really learn much and improve my coxing from doing those outings, and with my course being a bit hectic right now I'd probably prefer having the time off instead.
I might do a few coaching sessions when I think I've got the time (so definitely not this week) and I'll definitely aiming to be back for Lents. Plus there's the training camp, which I am hugely looking forward too.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

University Fours - Prologue

My crew's Uni IVs races are tomorrow, preceded by a crew meal this evening, which was pretty awesome aside from the minor deranged tramp attack on the way back (which, in the long run, just served to make it more entertaining).

Token motivational rowing INCHES:


It's hugely over-posted (I blame you Krit), but it still does the job. Though maybe it should be changed to CENTIMETRES given we don't live in the US or before the 1960s.

Last year University Fours was something of a defining moment for me as a cox. I learned so much coxing the second men's four, with Craig at stroke, compared to my meagre amount of experience coxing the WIII boat for May bumps. That and the rudder fell off during our first race, and I still managed to bring the boat to the finish and we won. I was absolutely shitting myself before the first race, contemplating how horrific it would be if I crashed the boat (having watched Jesus MI hilariously do it the day before). The worst case happened, we had a skilled push off the bank from Ed Saunders when the rudder went and we initially crashed, but we pulled through and won, and from that my confidence improved quite a bit. I still get nervous before races, but I at least have the knowledge that when things take a turn for the worst I can still keep some semblance of control.

I'm really looking forward to the women's format. The men's format is more interesting than a pure time-trial head race, but it's still not particularly thrilling. Not compared to proper side-by-side racing at least. Given that it's the only time we ever get to properly race two boats abreast on the Cam (aside from during Segs Day) I'm really looking forward to it, and I intend to enjoy it regardless of how we do.

Looking at the draw, Clare WII are apparently not that amazing (though I don't necessarily trust that this is the case), and if we beat them we'll possibly end up against Jesus WI. I don't really know why there's a first boat in the second division, because it seems to defeat the point of a second division somewhat, and I'll be a bit pissed off if we end up losing to them. I really want to win tomorrow, but I'll take gracious defeat if I have to, though there'll be bitterness if we lose to a first boat purely because we shouldn't be racing against them, and I'm curious to why they've got dispensation to put a first boat into the lower division. If your first boat is shit, then you should just race and lose in the first division, not degrade yourself into a category you have a chance of winning.

I don't really have a decent measure of how quick we'll be tomorrow, but I'd like to think we've at least got a fairly good chance of doing well, and it'd be absolutely awesome if we could win and take the medals for it.


In other news, some douchebag added Robot Unicorn Attack to Facebook. It was addictive enough without having friend leaderboards and all that crap to just add extra incentive to beat your highscore. I have project deadlines to meet dammit.

Speaking of project deadlines, my parents are up this weekend, which really isn't going to help with the MET design project. Hopefully I can squeeze in time to do it around them being here, but it could be a very hectic Sunday, Monday and Tuesday trying to finish it in time, given I'll be spending the entirety of Saturday in Ely with my parents and won't really have time to work on it. There's also the Uni IVs dinner on Sunday, and a trip to the Rolls Royce factory in Derby on Tuesday. The deadline is 9am on Wednesday, so I guess there's always the option of an all-nighter on Tuesday evening and just missing lectures on Wednesday if I really need the time to get it finished.
Otherwise, I just really need to get a fucking shift on and stop faffing over it.