Monday, 18 April 2011

Air Multiplication, GMod Hax & Buscemeyes

Something which is almost certainly not news to anyone any more is Dyson's "bladeless" fan. It wasn't news to me either. However, what was news to me (but still probably not other people), was the price-tag. I was sort of wondering why I'd not seen any around anywhere, after all, Dyson Airblade hand dryers are now pretty much everywhere. The answer it seems, is that they're fucking expensive pieces of desk furniture.

At the risk of offending most likely nobody, if you own one of these things then you are an idiot and seriously have more money than sense. And if you are offended then just take comfort in the fact that I can't wrap myself up in £20 notes to keep me warm at night like you can.

The main selling point behind this thing is that it gives a continuous cylinder of airflow, while conventional fans produce a turbulent stream of air, which gives you a "buffeting" sensation when it's blowing on you. And apparently this "buffeting" is the worst sensation in the world, or at the very least is worth paying upwards of £200 to not have.

Now I've had nearly twenty-one years of living so far, and in those years I have become fairly familiar with the whole desk fan experience, and if I'm honest I never thought it was that terrible. They're perhaps not as brilliant as an A/C unit, but they're also not consuming huge amounts of electricity so that's somewhat expected. This "buffeting" sensation isn't something I can say I've been particularly annoyed by, and even if I had been, would it be worth £200?

I mean, there are plenty of things which annoy me. It annoys me that I have to continually shave hair off my face only for it to grow back. It annoys me when a ball-point pen temporarily stop working and you have to scribble all over a piece of paper to get the ink flowing again. It annoys me when vending machines give you cups of coffee that are full to the brim and boiling hot, so there's nowhere you can actually hold the cup without burning your fingers. I would most likely not pay £200 to remedy these issues, because £200 is a lot of money for what is only a minor inconvenience in the greater scheme of things.

I don't even own a regular desk fan anyway. What with the whole living in England, it's only actually that hot for about two months a year, and generally I can get by just with having the window open. My actual main bitch with fans is that when it's hot enough for me to want one they tend to be fairly useless, because blowing hot air around doesn't really provide much of a cooling effect.

Apparently other benefits of the Air Multiplier technology include safety, because you can put your hands through it without being injured. This would be a selling point, but I feel it's something which most desk fans have solved fairly cheaply by just having a huge cage around the potentially hurty parts. And if you're stupid enough to put your hand into a set of spinning blades then you deserve whatever injury you get. The only really appealing aspect for me is that it looks fairly stylish, but at the same time there are plenty of stylish conventional fans around too, and I reckon if I was the type to spend £200 on something just so it could look nice on my desk then I'd be able to find something a little better.

Something which provided relative amusement and internet furore this week was an update applied to Garry's Mod, announced with relative smugness by a tweet from the developer. The basic effect of the update was to enable an error which had been dormant in the code for ages, and which basically disabled all pirated copies of the game. Aside from it just seemingly like a regular error, so people posted the issue all around the internet to try and get help with it, the error also pulls up and includes the user's 64-bit Steam ID number, meaning that when people post the error they get it's possible to cross-reference their number with their steam account and see if they actually legitimately own a copy of the game they claim to have trouble with.

As was pointed out by Garry himself on a blog post, this isn't going to make his game unpiratable, and it's a fairly easy issue to circumvent. It was more done as a pretty superb prank to troll people who pirate his game. Judging from the number of people who are pissed off at his attempt to play a joke on people who have stolen copies of the game he made, I'd say it's been a pretty successful prank.

The final thing for this post is something mentioned to me last week by James Parker, and it is the fantastically creepy chickswithstevebuscemeyes. It's fairly self explanatory - it's a load of photos of women with Steve Buscemi's eyes photoshopped onto them. Some of them look stoned, some of them look like they've not slept in over a decade, all of them look extremely fucking creepy.

Except Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. I'm not even sure if those ones have been photoshopped.

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